First evarrrr

I tried doing this before, and got through 3 posts before I got discouraged and gave up. But I thought I'd try it again.
Why?
A friend from work told me that, even though I had given up, I insipired her to start eating healthier and she's made some progress! I didn't think I was actually doing anything for anybody, and I'm not planning on doing it again. If it happens, it happens and I'll be thrilled to have inspired somebody else. But for now, this is just for me.
I refuse to let people get to me this time. Harmless jokes and empty comments won't get to me. I have to do this. I've hit a weight that I never wanted to even be close to, and I have to get rid of it. I wanted to be rid of it long before now, but I've had a few things stopping me. Now that I'm back in a semi-regular routine, I have to do the same with my eating and exercise routines.
Oh, yeah I weigh 180lbs. No, it's not that much to some people, but it's enough to me. It's enough to make me hate looking at myself. It's enough to make me wear clothes that purposely hide my body. It's enough to make me hate pictures of myself. It's just enough. I've had enough.
I eat way too much junk. I'm a super picky eater, and being a vegetarian alongside of that doesn't help. No, I'm not a vegetarian just to be one, I'm a vegetarian because I have an issue with textures in food. So there goes all my animal protein that helps you burn fat. Good thing I still eat dairy.
ANYWAYS. Yeah, I eat too much junk. White cheddar popcorn and chocolate are my favourite. I won't cut them out entirely, but it's all about cutting down on the big portions. I've cut down a lot lately, but still not enough. 
I still need to exercise. I had gotten back into the gym just over 2 weeks ago and then a car accident, among other things, slowed me down and I haven't been able to get back. Now that I'm getting better, I've been advised I can go back to exercising regularly, just gotta be careful.
SO I'M GOING TO.
And today is the first day. I've already collected a huuuuge number of extremely healthy smoothies that I'll be living off of. I'm going to be cutting out a lot of bread, which will be hard for me... I LOVE bread. For dinner tonight, I had a bunch of fruits and vegetables and it felt great.

This blog, if you stumble upon it, is to just make other girls feel as if they are not alone in their struggle with being happy with themselves. This isn't about wanting to be skinny, or being hot, it's about being able to look in the mirror and not judge every lump and roll. Those aren't bad things, if you're bigger and you're happy with yourself, that's awesome! I'm completely happy with everything else about myself, just not my body. I'm not planning on reaching 100 pounds and saying I still need to lose weight, I plan on getting to 135-140 pounds and being in the best shape of my life. I want to be able to climb stairs without being out of breath when I reach the top.  I wanna be able to play with my brother's dog without getting worn out in less than 5 minutes. That's all.

I just wanna be completely happy with myself, so here I go


- Rachel